The Next Journey

    “Are you excited to graduate? Or nervous? It’s probably a bit of both isn’t it!”

    That’s the question every college senior gets from adults they meet every time they learn they’re graduating. Usually, you laugh it off and just tell the person, “a bit of both,” to get to the next topic so you don’t have to think about it for longer than you have to. I think I’ve heard it more times than I can count at this point, but as graduation gets closer I think I have my answer. 

    I’m excited.

    Not because I want to be done with school, or want to start paying bills. I’m excited for what is to come and what I’ll be able to do. 

    For most of college, I was dreading graduation. Living on my own in a brand new city, and knowing no one? No thanks, I'll stay in school as long as I can. 

    But in the couple first weeks of my spring semester as a senior, I started to apply for jobs. And a handful emailed me back to set up an interview. And then more emailed me. I realized that all my hard work and late nights I put in for school and internships wasn't for nothing, and that I was going to be okay. 

    It didn’t matter to these jobs that my most relevant internship lasted only a month at a station in Miami, Florida. Or that my other internship, writing for a small, student start-up sports news site was all I could get last summer. 

    These news stations all want me to come work for them because of my skills as a producer and they know that I can help make their newcasts better. And I wouldn’t have been able to have these opportunities without those internships giving me a chance to practice and work on my skills. 

    When I came to terms that and that this semester was potentially going to be the last semester of school I would ever take, life after graduating looked better than ever. I wasn’t worried about what I was going to do after, I knew I would succeed. 

    I would see Tik Toks of people’s evenings after work or on the weekends, and I found myself wanting to experience that, instead of quickly swiping past it. I wanted to be able to design my apartment how I wanted to. I wanted to cook my own meals how I liked.

    The most bizarre realization of those desires came when I watched a specific Tik Tok. When the video cut to the person working on painting his bathroom wall, I immediately blurted out “I can’t wait to paint a wall where I live.” I don’t know why I said that, I never wanted to paint a wall when I was younger. But finally being able to have the freedom to do whatever I want with my space is something I can’t wait for.

    Freedom is something I want after sharing an apartment with four other people for three years because there are some things that get old. For example, any and all design choices for common areas have to be cleared with everyone. The school requires that decorations cannot leave major damage to walls, nothing can be attached or hung from the ceiling and (what is now the most irritating to me) you cannot paint anything on the walls. 

    That leaves the decorations to be limited to posters and flags pinned up on the walls, string lights hung from just under the ceiling and leaning a mirror against an open wall. 

    I’m not only ready to have my own apartment to do what I want, or to start working in something I love, but I’m ready to grow in those spaces to continue to make myself proud. I am confident that I’m going to succeed at whatever job I do.

    So as graduation gets closer and closer, I’m not anxious, but excited to finally be done with school and become a full-fledged adult. I’ve realized that the first chapter of my life is coming to a close, and a new one is just around the corner, and I can’t wait to see what it holds.

    Besides, I’ve already picked out a color for my wall.